Running Scared

I am scared…..

I am scared of what I am feeling right now. The feeling of imbalance, insecurity and jealousy.

I do not know where I stand, I do not know where to go.

I am scared that I’m just holding everything in and one day it will all fall apart.

I am tired, tired of being strong. Pretending that I am okay when I know I’m not.

I am tired of pretending that I do not care about you, that I do not love you.

I am hurt when you do not appreciate the things I do for you.

I am jealous of people who enters your life and you ignore me.

I am jealous of people who you fall in love easily. People who occupies your mind….and your heart when it could be me.

I am jealous of beautiful people that makes you to stare at them with awe.

I am jealous of people who are thin that you take a second look when they pass by.

I am angry with myself for being jealous.

I am angry with you for making me feel this way.

I am angry with myself for letting you make me feel this way.

Do you love me?

The hardest part of being human is when you cannot be true to yourself. When you deny how you really feel because of what other people may think. Just like falling in love. When you fall in love with a person who does not love you how do you go about it? Should you just forget about it and look for that person who will love you back or should you fight for it until that person realizes that they love you too?

Realizations of a 30 Something

I had a realization while talking to my sister the other night. We were talking about how sheltered our childhood was. We were taught by our family to be the best that we can be and to always follow the rules. This was also true when we started to go to school. In STC, we were taught that Theresians should let their light shine. I will always be grateful for these lessons for I these helped me be the person I am today. 

But as I grew older I realized that life was not as simple as that. It was not just black and white, there were a lot of gray areas. 

When I was just starting to work, I was very idealistic. I was very assertive and would always like things to go my way. I was told numerous times that I had a very strong personality and at times it gets too strong.That was the time when I started to listen to other people. To learn from people who I respect and admire, to listen to people when they talk and try to pick up learning during the conversation. I looked for mentors and asked them questions on how to be successful not only in a professional sense but also in their personal life. When I opened myself to opportunities to learn I began knowing myself better and was able to know my strengths and my weaknesses.   

Aside from knowing myself better, I was reminded on the values that my family taught me. I was reminded that I must respect other people and to never look down on anyone. I learned to value my team for without them I won’t be able to succeed. This made me start to pay it forward. I want to impart as much learning that I can to people who asks for my help, for people who would like to learn from me. 

Even with so much realizations I am still in the process of learning. After admitting to myself that I made a bad decision last year with regards to my professional life, I came to terms that there will be times when I will make wrong decisions and moves, that I should not be too hard on myself. I am learning to let things go (just like Elsa) with things that I do not have any control on. To accept that it is how I react to situations that will determine my happiness. There are times when you do not know how you can manage to smile when everything seems so bleak, I learned I just need to deeper and get the strength to be better. I started to appreciate little things like a joke from a co worker, no traffic in the morning, a good looking guy in front of you during your lunch hour or even as simple as my dog greeting me when I get home. 

I am far from being perfect for I am a work in progress and for me as long as I am learning and I can be a blessing to other people I am happy with that :) 

Animal Kingdom Foundation: Giving HOPE to dogs that are forgotten

Let me share with you my memories and experiences in adopting dogs in need. 

For veterinary medicine students, having a specimen animal is crucial for it is used for almost all the laboratory subjects from Pathology to Surgery your grade will depend on your specimen animal. 

This is the reason why when I was in my fifth year of being a veterinary student we visited the Manila Dog Pound to get a dog to be used as our specimen animal. I can still remember that the dogs were caged according to the day they were caught. We asked the administrator why were they categorized this way. He replied that this helps them to identify when will the dogs be euthanised. Dogs that are not retrieved by their owners 7 days after they were caught are euthanised.

It is here where I met Friday, an askal who looks like a watered down border collie, with his fringed tail and coloring. I guess you can tell why we named him Friday.

This an excerpt from my previous blog post. 

 “As shown by the aspins I have met, Friday emanated an intelligence and loyalty that I always admired in aspins. Any operation can you can imagine was done to him and for his service I took very good care of him. Even when I graduated in college, I took him home with me and became part of my pack. I would remember, Friday will accompany me to my stop every morning on my way to the office and will wait until I was able to ride an FX before heading back home. When I arrived at our subdivision gate Friday will be waiting for me and together we will ride the tricycle back to our house.

Friday was always a free spirited dog. He is the kind of dog that you won’t be able to hold back from going out of the house. Almost all of our neighbors, tricycle drivers and security guards knew him. I remember it was New Year’s Eve in 2006 when he did not go home. My mom and I went around the subdivision looking for him to no avail. I can still remember the fear that I felt for I knew that he might be scared because of the noise of merrymakings of the New Year. I was so relieved when I opened the gate the next morning and he was waiting outside of our gate, dirty and with a slight limp. I got angry because I knew someone captured him and was planning to kill him but he got away. But Friday being Friday was undeterred by that experience he will still go out of the house whenever he can. Until the day when he was not so lucky, Friday was caught by the dog pound. I went around our subdivision looking for the dog catcher and when I saw them I begged them to free Friday I even offered to pay for the fine but they said that they cannot do that and I need to get Friday from the dog pound. Friday, as ironic as it sounds, was captured on a Friday morning. The dog pound was close on weekends and I was just able to go to the pound the following Monday and I was surprised to learn that he was not there. No one was able to help me to know where is Friday. Up to this day, I still have this tiny hope in me that one day when I will open our gate Friday will be sitting outside just waiting for us to let him in.”

I have a soft spot for dogs who are in need in general not only for askals.

I can still remember Piloy, a slightly blind Rottweiler puppy with hip dysplacia and a respiratory problem. Joker was the one who told me about Piloy. I was hesitant to adopt him because of all his health conditions but upon meeting him I fell in love. Piloy was a very happy dog. He was very loving and sweet. When you call him, he will look for you with his one good eye and when he sees you he will give his all to run toward you. We were in the process of finding a sponsor or someone to make a wheelchair for Piloy to give him more mobility but we were too late. Piloy died of respiratory complications after just a few months with me. 

Pickles was also a rescued dog. He is my mini dachshund who died last year after living with us for more than 4 years. 

I am glad that I was able to participate during the AKF Adoption Program yesterday held at Centris. It renewed my passion to stop the dog meat trade and to help the rescued dogs being sheltered by AKF. They are now fostering 400 dogs, 400 dogs that needs new home. I am encouraging everyone to open their homes to these dogs in need. 

 If you want to adopt a dog from Animal Kingdom Foundation you may go to their website http://www.animalkingdomfoundation.org/index.html for the requirements and adoption process. If you cannot adopt a dog, you may sponsor a dog for P300.00 per month or P3,600 per year.

My encounter with the AKF rescued dogs in 2009

 

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NBI Clearance: Public Service Announcement

It has been a while since I got an NBI clearance, if I am not mistaken it was in 2006. This is the reason why when I was required to get one I was like “this will be a piece of cake I could get an online application and go to one of the NBI clearance centers”. Boy I was so wrong. This is the reason why I decided to write this blog to help those people like me who are so clueless.

First of all I would suggest that you use the NBI online application to fill up the form. Go to this link http://www.nbi.gov.ph and follow the instructions.

Second thing that you need to decide on is which NBI Clearance Center should you go to. My advise? Go to the main office in UN Avenue. Trust me on this. I went to both Robinsons Cainta and Metro East and was advised by the guards to start lining up by 12 midnight for usually by 5:00 am they have reached their cut off. I was like what?! I will be lining up for almost 8 hours waiting for the mall to open! Trust me people that will be a waste of time. Go to the main office.

For I know that parking will be a big issue so I decided to take the MRT. I live in Antipolo so i had to take the MRT 2. I was in Santolan station around 6:30 am. I must advise you, bring coins so that you can use the vending machine to avoid lining up to get your card. Use 10.00 or 5.00 coins for the fare from Santolan to Recto is 15.00. Around this time there are a lot of commuters especially students but it is quite easy to ride for it is the first station. The trip lasted about 30 minutes.

Upon arriving in Recto Station follow the signs directing you to LRT 1 (Doroteo Jose). Good news there is a bridgeway from Recto Station to Doroteo Jose Station. Buy a ticket to UN Avenue which will cost you around 12.00. This is were things will get interesting. I arrived at Doroteo Jose around 7:45 am and all trains were jam packed! I had to let 5 trains to pass and told myself if by 8:30 am I was still unable to ride I will just take a taxi. Luckily, the security guard took pity on me and told me “Ma’am sa next train pasakayin na kita sa Senior Citizen” to you Kuya thank you very much!

When you arrived at UN Avenue station just follow the trail of vendors selling ballpens, jelly shoes and brown envelopes and you will see the NBI Clearance Office. To ensure that you will not encounter any problem refrain from wearing slippers, shorts and sleeveless blouses.

The benefit of getting your application thru online you will skip 2 steps the data checking and the encoding. After paying the fee of 115.00 you will head straight to the 3rd floor for the biometrics. If you are cleared you may get your NBI Clearance immediately.

Word of advise: peak season for getting NBI clearance are during the months of January and February. This is the reason why it took me 2 hours to get mine because there was a really long line for the payment but for me this is better than to line up at 12 midnight.

I have to commend the personnel of NBI. There were a lot of personnel who are willing to guide you and assist you.

I hope this blog will be able to help you when you get your NBI Clearance :)

Kanin Club: Crispy Diniguan

I’ve been meaning to eat at Kanin Club because of their Crispy Dinuguan and Seafood Kare Kare but it was always full. I had my chance last week when I was in Paseo de Sta Rosa and when I peered inside it was not full! I grabbed the chance and studied their menu. I wanted to try their crispy liempo and seafood kare kare but settled for the Crispy Dinuguan because all their servings are good for 2-3 persons and I was dining alone.

One thing I can say it was worth the wait! The meat and fat of the pork was deliciously crispy. It was not too greasy because of the dinuguan sauce which was kinda sour the way I like it.

I wish they will open a branch in Rizal so that I can have my crispy meat and dinuguan cravings met in one dish,

Kare Kare House: Truly Satisfying

One of the things I was excited about this December was the fact that my Sissy is coming home for the holidays.

In true Christine Jocson fashion, everything in her itinerary is detailed. So our schedule in her very busy itinerary was December 22, 2013. What were the plans? Deliver her sansrival, visit the house site and lunch at Anix’s Kare Kare house.

One thing I can say the food in this restaurant does not disappoint.

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Lumpia Togue Bites

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Crispy Pata – the skin was wonderfully crunchy and the meat was flavorful. I didn’t need the sauce but my Sissy is adamant she wants the sauce hehehe

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Bangus Ala Pobre – I love this dish. The tiyan of the bangus was deliciously fatty. The meat was crispy on the outside but not dry.

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Kinilaw na Tanigue – sour and refreshing. The kinilaw was a great palate cleanser from all the fatty food.

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Baked Oysters – We almost forgot that we ordered these because it was the last item served. Good thing I always have room for oysters

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Mutya ng Antipolo – I know people are expecting me to say that if you go to Anix’s Kare Kare House you must not miss their Kare Kare but for me their best seller should be the Mutya ng Antipolo. The soup is creamy and satisfying.

The food was very good but the company I was with was better…..my family

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Slice: A Slice of Heaven in a Cupcake

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I have been seeing a lot of post with regards to the Choco Yema cupcake from Slice. The only branch I know of Slice is in BGC and as an Antipolo girl, I rarely go to BGC (except to go Azkals Sports Bar and to visit our clients there). This is the reason why I was delighted when I saw that they have a kiosk in Podium. The selection was like a dream for a girl with a sweet tooth. There were were cupcakes, muffins and cookies that will delight every palate. Since I cannot buy all the items on the menu I decided to buy the Choco Yema Cupcake and their Red Velvet Cupcake.

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I maybe a big girl but I am not a glutton (I try really hard not to be haha) I decided to first try their Choco Yema when I got home. One thing I can really say that if I have to go to BGC just to get this cupcake I will. It was that good. The chocolate cupcake was tender and moist. Deliciously chocolatey but not overly sweet. The yema frosting is really to die for. Sweet and silky to your tongue. Some people tend to it the frosting and the cake separately but my advise eat the cupcake and the frosting together and you have dessert perfection in one bite. This is a dessert that is really decadent. I do not advise that you eat this everyday but it is perfect for a pick me up when you had a bad day and you really need a treat.

The next day I tried their Red Velvet Cupcake.

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I know some may say that I do not have any sense of adventure for I chose Red Velvet when I can get the other signature items from Slice like the Sir Francis M Bacon but I wanted to try something more traditional for my next cupcake. For me the choco yema was better than the Red Velvet. I am not sure if the texture of the cake changed because I placed it in the refrigerator overnight. The cake of the choco yema was more moist than that of the Red Velvet but it is not overly dry also. For this cupcake I must say that the frosting is the superstar of the dessert. The cream cheese frosting was tangy and sweet. If I was given the chance to dive in a pool of this frosting I will gladly to. I think this frosting will also work for carrot cake.

If people will ask me if the hype for Slice is legit, I must say yes. I look forward in tasting their other creations like the Sir Framcis M Bacon Cupcake, Chocolate Chip Deep Dish Cookie, Citrus Burst Cupcake and Choco Monkey PB Cupcake.

Slice is located at G/F Bonifacio High Street Central, West Superblock, 7th Ave cor 29th St Fort Bonifacio, Taguig (02) 553-7783 and their kiosk is located at G/F of The Podium.

Gram’s Diner: Not my kind of Diner

I love diner food. I guess this is also the reason why I love watching Dine, Drive Inns and Dives on Food Channel. This is the reason why I decided to try Gram’s Diner located at Crossroads 32nd st. Bonifacio Global City, Taguig City. 

Upon entering the restaurant, the dining area is bright and airy. Red leather booths are situated at one side of the dining area for the diner feel. 

The menu was made to look like a magazine with their foods made to look like feature articles. There were breakfast options, entrees, burgers, appetizers, pasta and dessert. 

I was a little surprised that their breakfast options were not that extensive but then I reminded myself that I was not in IHOP. 

According to the reviews and by the suggestions of the waitstaff their bestsellers are the Tapa Burger and their Tapsilog but I was in a mood for some Southern Fried Chicken Fillet (275.00). I also ordered smashed potatoes (75.00) as a side dish (I know carbs hehe). I was pondering if I should order a milkshake but decided I better have some self control hahaha.

When my Southern Fried Chicken Fillet was brought to my table I was quite disappointed. I was expecting a fried chicken steak smothered in drool inducing gravy (like the one from Banapple) instead I got 3 pieces of boneless fillet, garlic rice, buttered vegetables and gravy on the side. I have to give them points that the chicken was flavorful and crispy but the vegetables were not that appetizing. The gravy was okay but it was still a far cry from the milk and mushroom gravy of Banapple (okay okay maybe I am not being fair here but Banapple is my benchmark for fried chicken steak).

But the biggest disappointment for me was the smashed potatoes. I am a mashed/smashed potato lover. I was expecting a creamy and rich smashed potatoes instead I got a plate of cold, boiled then smashed potatoes. It was not seasoned and there were no traces of even a smidgen of butter or cream. I tried to fix it by putting a lot pepper and salt but to no avail. How bad was it? I didn’t finish it and if you really know me well I seldom have leftovers. 

Maybe it was also my fault for not listening to the recommendation of the waitstaff. I am a forgiving woman when it comes to food so I will try Gram’s Diner and order their best sellers. One thing that makes me forgiving? Their service was superb.