Running Scared

I am scared…..

I am scared of what I am feeling right now. The feeling of imbalance, insecurity and jealousy.

I do not know where I stand, I do not know where to go.

I am scared that I’m just holding everything in and one day it will all fall apart.

I am tired, tired of being strong. Pretending that I am okay when I know I’m not.

I am tired of pretending that I do not care about you, that I do not love you.

I am hurt when you do not appreciate the things I do for you.

I am jealous of people who enters your life and you ignore me.

I am jealous of people who you fall in love easily. People who occupies your mind….and your heart when it could be me.

I am jealous of beautiful people that makes you to stare at them with awe.

I am jealous of people who are thin that you take a second look when they pass by.

I am angry with myself for being jealous.

I am angry with you for making me feel this way.

I am angry with myself for letting you make me feel this way.

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Do you love me?

The hardest part of being human is when you cannot be true to yourself. When you deny how you really feel because of what other people may think. Just like falling in love. When you fall in love with a person who does not love you how do you go about it? Should you just forget about it and look for that person who will love you back or should you fight for it until that person realizes that they love you too?